A strange dream

Last week I had a really strange dream and I had really wanted to write about it before I forgot all of it, but alas, the kids have swim practice every day, so it's been a little crazy around here.

Anyway...the dream...I was pregnant, young, high school, maybe college, but the main thing was this, I was alone and I wanted to give up my baby for adoption. The main two themes I don't want to forget about my dream is this:

 First, I was afraid, scared of the whole thing, having a baby, giving the baby away, I was seriously afraid.

Second, it was hard. I'm not talking about actually giving the baby away (I didn't get that far in my dream), I'm talking about finding the adoption office. I was looking and looking and it seemed everywhere I went, someone would tell me I had the wrong place and then give me new directions. It's so interesting to me that these were the main themes in my dream.

 Fear and obstacles...are these the things that grip birth mothers hearts as they make this decision?

 Fear of giving birth, fear of making the wrong or right decision, fear of the unknown. I wholeheartedly believe that a birth mom should not be pushed into the decision, but I can see where it might be the best thing for baby AND mom to choose adoption. I also love that this is an option in polar opposition to abortion, the rampant "fix the problem" solution of our country and this generation.

 I had someone say that birth mothers choosing to give their baby up was really a selfish decision. Yes, I can see how that might be the perception, BUT, in light of what the world sees as the easy fix, adoption is hard, and in my eyes, not a selfish decision at all for a birth mom. It's a hard choice to make. Hard work to follow through. Picture the birth mom who has to think of all the pieces of the puzzle and come to this decision. Maybe she truly can't take care of herself, let alone a baby. Maybe the birth father pushes her towards abortion, but she pushes back. Then later in the pregnancy, her mother finds out and pushes her to keep the baby...

fear, obstacles.

 Then she actually has made her decision and she's faced with choosing a family based on a letter and some pictures. These are the people that will be raising the child growing inside of her. What if they turn out to be mean, terrible people? What if they make terrible parenting choices she has no way of predicting looking at their picture While she's sitting in an attorney's office?

 Fear...obstacles... Obstacles...fear...

 So, this week, I have been praying and thinking about birth mothers, not just ours, but all of them, all over the country, right now that are trying to make a decision. I cannot even imagine what it must be like for this to be the final option...but in the end... it could have been many of us. It could have been me.

 Had my sweet husband been not so sweet 11 years ago, what would I have done? Would I have tried to raise a baby on my own? Or would I have looked up adoption agencies in the yellow pages?

 God had plans for my family, what have turned out to be wonderful and beautiful plans, I am so thankful that I don't know personally what it's like to entrust my child to someone else to raise.

 But I am also thankful for the courage of the mothers that choose that as the best option for their child. I am thankful they choose life over death, I am thankful that the enemy loses every time that choice is made. Trust me, he'd like a different outcome.

 Make no mistake, he comes to steal, kill, and destroy....even if it's the smallest person.